Art GalleryGnomes
LanguagesFront PageDaniil Kharms

The theory on balls

The expression "to have balls", applied to a brave person, is hardly a recent invention, but is more likely of very ancient origins. It is a common phenomenon that fear (and cold) causes the man's scrotum to shrivel up. This normal reaction is hardly noticed in this modern day and age, where most people usually wear clothes. Furthermore, one rarely observes the phenomenon on one's own body, as conditions of great panic and terror usually don't give rise to speculations on how one's scrotum is hanging. 

The only members of our species who could have observed the interesting behaviour of the testicles in situations of stress, and thus coin the aforementioned phrase, were our naked ancestors from early Palaeolithic times. One can imagine the following situation: A group of primitive men are out hunting. Suddenly comes a, let us choose a brontosaurus, charging ferociously towards them through the forest. All become paralysed with fright, and their scrotums shrink instantly and visibly to pea-size. Except for one brave individual, who calmly readies his bow, while his low-hanging testicles dangles casually from side to side. He shoots and kills the dinosaur, saves the hunting-party, and his feat is later told with the praising remark: "...and you should have seen: He really had balls!"

This page is made of 100% cotton